You Are Enough
Am I enough? By Amanda Tuckerman. Catch Amanda’s amazing classes every Tuesday and Thursday 6.30am – 7.30am
The simple answer to this question is a huge YES!! However it is very easy to say and a lot harder to truly hear and believe the answer for our own selves.
Whether we acknowledge it consciously or spend our whole lives running away from this question for fear of what the answer will be, I believe that this is a question that lies on the heart of every person on the planet.
The world often tells us that we need to be, do or appear to be something other than what we actually are in any given moment.
There are whole thriving industries that succeed based on feeding you and I the concept that who we are or what we look like in this moment are not enough.
So where did it start? How did this concept that we are not enough infiltrate a whole society and culture? Is it just a part of human nature that has been around forever only now we actually talk about it?
I have found that it is generally easy for an individual to recognise and believe that others are enough however do not quite seem to pass this admiration and recognition onto themselves.
Oprah has interviewed some of the most famous and powerful people on the planet and she has said that every single person she has ever had on her show has asked some form of the question ‘How did I go – was I enough?’
What will it take to feel as though we are enough? When I ponder the question for myself I become stumped. Does being enough mean that I have the right clothes or the right job or the best personality etc and if so, who determines all of this?
Then I realise that no external validation can actually give me the self worth that I am looking for. I need to give it from within and I need to become my very own personal cheerleader, backing myself in every moment and with every action I take and every decision that I make.
I also realise that self worth is so much more than just ‘yeah, I like myself,’ a whole list of things come to mind and here are some:
- Am I worthy enough to put boundaries in place so that people treat me in the way that I would like to be treated?
- Am I worthy enough to charge what I feel my services are worth without guilt?
- Am I worthy enough to spend quiet time with myself every day?
- Am I worthy enough to look myself in a mirror and acknowledge that I love myself?
- Am I worthy enough to treat myself with respect by using self talk that is encouraging and loving?
The last question around self talk is such a huge, huge thing. We are with ourselves all of the time and whether we acknowledge it or not, we are communicating with ourselves all of the time. Is your self talk encouraging and loving or are you constantly berating yourself, calling yourself stupid etc, etc.
I was talking to a friend of mine recently who is in her early 40’s and out loud she is constantly putting herself down in all ways – talking about getting things wrong, how bad her body is, the fact that her poor health is of course something that would happen to her – not once have I ever heard her say anything positive about herself.
I’ve been hearing all of these things said regularly and constantly for months and the other day I asked her to tell me something about herself that she at least likes, maybe even loves. I said that it could even be as simple as liking the length of her eyelashes.
She looked away from me and said that there is nothing that she likes about herself. I asked her whether she ever gives herself credit for anything that she does to which she replied no. She then told me that she can’t even really look at herself in the mirror because she dislikes herself that much and for this same reason she rarely lets anyone take a photo of her.
It breaks my heart when I hear people put themselves down out loud because I know that what they are saying out loud is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of what they are actually saying to themselves in their head.
What is being said in their own head to themselves is probably 100 times worse and more consistent than what is being said out loud and that means that they are trapping themselves in their a world of torture that is of their own making… we are trapping ourselves!!
Let me be clear – the world is not going to give you the validation that you seek. YOU need to find a way to give it to yourself.
So how do we do this?
We do this by going inwards. Into those parts of ourselves that make us cringe, make us cry, make us feel icky – the parts that we so often want to avoid and the parts of us that we don’t want to acknowledge.
It takes courage and it takes commitment and it can be fucking scary and confronting but is not until we face these parts of ourselves head on that any meaningful change will be able to occur. Until we go to these places, we are dealing only with the superficial aspects of ourselves and keeping the doors closed to the things that will actually bring us the biggest amount of growth, freedom and release once they are dealt with.
Often these are not places of ourselves that we can reach by ourselves so I would recommend seeking the help of someone who can take you to these places in a safe environment – personally I love kinesiology and energetic healing for this.
You are enough – I know it and most likely the people around you know it too.
Do YOU know it?
Tags: enough, self love, yoga